Ugly Love(54)
Author: Colleen Hoover

“I can handle this as long as it stays simple,” I tell him. “When you pull the shit you pulled a few weeks ago by walking away and slamming your door? That’s not keeping it simple, Miles. Things like that make it complicated.”

He nods, contemplating what I’ve said. “Simple,” he says, rolling the word around in his mouth. “If you can do simple, I can do simple.”

“Good,” I say. “And when it becomes too hard for either of us, we’ll end it for good.”

“I’m not worried about it becoming too hard for me,” he says. “I’m worried about it becoming too hard for you.”

I’m worried about me, too, Miles. But I want the here and now with you a whole lot more than I care about how it will affect me in the end.

With that thought, I suddenly figure out what my one rule is. He’s had his boundaries this entire time, protecting himself from the vulnerability that I’ve been subjected to.

“I think I finally have my one rule,” I say. He looks at me and raises a brow, waiting for me to talk. “Don’t give me false hope for a future,” I say. “Especially if you know in your heart we’ll never have one.”

His posture immediately stiffens. “Have I done that?” he asks, genuinely concerned. “Have I given you false hope before?”

Yes. About thirty minutes ago, when you looked me in the eyes the entire time you were inside me.

“No,” I say quickly. “Just make sure you don’t do or say things that would make me believe otherwise. As long as we both see this for what it is, I think we’ll be fine.”

He stares at me silently for a while, studying me. Evaluating my words. “I can’t tell if you’re really mature for your age or really delusional.”

I shrug, guarding my delusions deep inside my chest. “An unhealthy mixture of both, I’m sure.”

He presses his lips against the side of my head. “This feels really f**ked up to say out loud, but I promise I won’t give you hope for us, Tate.”

My heart frowns at his words, but my face forces a smile. “Good,” I say. “You have serious issues that kind of freak me out, and I’d much rather fall in love with an emotionally stable man someday.”

He laughs. Probably because he knows the odds of finding someone who can put up with this kind of relationship, if you can even call it that, are extremely low. Yet somehow, the one girl who might be fine with it just happened to move in across the hall from him. And he actually likes her.

You like me, Miles Archer.

“Corbin found out,” I say as I take what has become my usual seat next to Cap.

“Uh-oh,” he says. “Is the boy still alive?”

I nod. “For now. Not sure how long that’ll last, though.”

The doors to the lobby open, and I watch Dillon make his way inside. He pulls a hat off his head and shakes rain out of it as he walks toward the elevator.

“Sometimes I wish the flights I send up would crash,” Cap says, eyeing Dillon.

I guess Cap doesn’t like Dillon, either. I’m beginning to feel a little bad for Dillon.

He spots us just before he reaches the elevators. Cap is moving to press the up button, but Dillon reaches it before him. “I’m pretty capable of fetching my own elevator, old man,” he says.

I vaguely remember having a brief thought ten seconds ago about Dillon and how I felt sorry for him. I take that thought back now.

Dillon looks at me and winks. “What you doing, Tate?”

“Washing elephants,” I say with a straight face.

Dillon shoots me a confused look, not at all understanding my random response.

“If you don’t want a sarcastic answer,” Cap says to him, “don’t ask a stupid question.”

The elevator doors open, and Dillon rolls his eyes at both of us before walking onto the elevator.

Cap cuts his eyes to mine, and he grins. He holds a palm up in the air, and I high-five him.

Chapter twenty-four

MILES

Six years earlier

“Why is everything yellow?”

My dad is standing in the doorway to Rachel’s bedroom,

looking at the few items we’ve collected in the months since

he’s known about the pregnancy. “It looks like Big Bird threw

up in here.”

Rachel laughs. She’s standing at the bathroom mirror, putting

the finishing touches on her makeup. I’ve been lying on her

bed, watching her.

“We don’t want to know if it’s a boy or a girl, so we’re buying

gender-neutral colors.”

Rachel answers my dad’s question as if it were one of many,

but we both know it’s the first. He hasn’t asked about the

pregnancy. He doesn’t ask about our plans. He usually leaves

the room if Rachel and I are both in it.

Lisa isn’t much different. She’s not past the point of

disappointment or sadness yet, so we don’t push it. It’ll take

time, so Rachel and I are giving that to them.

Right now, Rachel only has me to talk to about the baby, and

I only have her, and even though that seems like too little, it’s

more than enough for both of us.

“How long will the ceremony last?” my dad asks me.

“No more than two hours,” I tell him.

He says we should go.

I tell him that as soon as Rachel is ready, we can go.

Rachel says she’s ready.

We go.

“Congratulations,” I tell Rachel.

“Congratulations,” she tells me.

We both graduated three hours ago. Now we’re lying on my

bed, thinking about our next step. Or at least I am, anyway.

“Let’s move in together,” I tell her.

She laughs. “We kind of already live together, Miles,” she

points out.

I shake my head. “You know what I mean. I know we already

have plans for after we start college in August, but I think we

should do it now.”

She rises up on her elbow and looks at me, probably trying to

read my expression to see if I’m serious.

“How? Where would we go?”