Tears stung my eyes. I would not cry about this. I'd cried all I was going to cry. Clenching the bag holding the pregnancy test closer I straightened my shoulders. "You followed me," I said. It wasn't a question.
"Of course I did," he replied, then shook his head and turned his gaze away from me to focus on something else. "Were you gonna tell me, Blaire?"
Was I going to tell him? I didn't know. I hadn't thought that far. "I'm not sure there is anything to tell just yet," I replied honestly.
Cain shook his head and let out a hard low chuckle that held no humor. "Not sure, huh? You came all the way out here because you weren't sure?"
He was angry. Or was he hurt? He had no reason to be either. "Until I take this test I'm not sure. I'm late. That's all. There's no reason I should tell you about this. It isn't your concern."
Slowly, Cain turned his head back to level his gaze on me. He lifted his hand and tilted his hat back. The shade was gone from his eyes. There was disbelief and pain there. I hadn't wanted to see that. It was almost worse than seeing judgment in his eyes. In a way judgment was better.
"Really? That's how you feel? After all we've been through that's how you honestly feel?"
What we had been through was in the past. He was my past. I'd been through a lot without him. While he'd enjoyed his high school years I had struggled to hold my life together. What exactly did he think he'd suffered? Anger slowly boiled in my blood and I lifted my eyes to glare at him.
"Yes, Cain. That's how I feel. I'm not sure what exactly you think we've been through. We were best friends, then we were a couple, then my momma got sick and you needed your dick sucked so you cheated on me. I took care of my sick momma alone. No one to lean on. Then she died and I moved. I got my heart and world shattered and came home. You've been here for me. I didn't ask you to but you have. I'm thankful for that but it doesn't make all that other stuff go away. It doesn't make up for the fact you deserted me when I needed you the most. So excuse me if when my world is once again about to be jerked out from under me that you aren't the first person I run to. You haven't earned that yet."
I was breathing hard and the tears I hadn't wanted to shed were running down my face. I hadn't wanted to cry dammit. I closed the distance between us and used all my strength to shove him out of my way so I could grab the door handle and jerk it open. I needed out of here.Away from him.
"Move," I yelled as I tried hard to open the door with his weight still against it.
I expected him to argue with me. I expected something other than him doing as I asked. I climbed inside the driver's seat and threw the little plastic bag in the seat beside me before cranking the truck and backing out of the parking spot. I could see Cain still standing there. He hadn't moved that much. Just enough so that I could get inside my truck. He wasn't looking at me. He was staring at the ground as if it had all the answers. I couldn't worry about him right now. I needed to get away.
Maybe I shouldn't have said those things to him. Maybe I should have kept them inside where I'd buried them all these years. But it was too late now. He'd pushed me at the wrong moment. I would not feel bad about this.
I also couldn't go back to his grandmother's. She was on to me. He'd probably call her and tell her. If not the truth, then something close to it. I didn't have any other options. I was going to have to take a pregnancy test in the restroom at a service station. Could this get any worse?
Chapter 2
Rush
The waves crashing against the shore used to soothe me. I'd been sitting out here on this deck watching the water since I was kid. It had always helped me find a better perspective on things. That wasn't working for me anymore.
The house was empty. My mother and ... the man who I wanted to burn in Hell for all f**king eternity had left as soon as I got back from Alabama three weeks ago. I'd been angry, broken, and wild. After threatening the life of the man my mother was married to, I'd demanded they leave. I didn't want to see either of them. I needed to call my mom and talk to her but I couldn't bring myself to do that just yet.
Forgiving my mom was easier said than done. Nan, my sister, had stopped by several times and begged me to talk to her. This wasn't Nan's fault but I couldn't talk to her about this either. She reminded me of what I'd lost. What I'd barely had. What I'd never expected to find.
A loud banging came from inside the house and broke into my thoughts. Turning, I looked back and realized that someone was at the door as the doorbellrang followed by knocking again. Who the hell was that? No one had stopped by except my sister and Grant since Blaire had left.
I put my beer down on the table beside me and stood up. Whoever it was they needed a real good reason for coming over here uninvited. I walked through a house that had stayed clean since Henrietta, the house cleaner's, last visit. With no parties or social life it was easy to keep things from getting destroyed. I was finding I liked this much better.
The knocking started up again as I reached the door and I jerked it open ready to tell whoever it was to f**k off when words failed me. This wasn't someone I'd ever expected to see again. I'd only met the guy once and I instantly hated him. Now he was here, I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he told me how she was. If she was okay. Where she was living? God I hoped she wasn't living with him. What if he'd... no, no, no, that hadn't happened. She wouldn't. Not my Blaire.
My hands clenched tightly into fists at my sides.
"I need to know one thing," Cain, the boy from Blaire's past, said as I stared at him in confused disbelief. "Did you," he stopped and swallowed. "Do you... f**k - " He took off his baseball cap and ran a hand through his hair. I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the tired, weary expression on his face.