8:43 p.m.: Filming has never stopped you before . . .
Dot, dot, dot. Jessica had to know how much that irritated me because of the implications behind it.
She didn’t text back—not that I expected her to since she’d gotten in the last word—so I sat the phone screen-side down on the table, beside my empty dinner plate. Placing my elbows onto the wood surface, I leaned forward, rubbing my face with my palms. Like it would help scrub the dirty feeling away from my skin.
Why had I texted Jessica? It wasn’t like she and I had ever had a healthy or decent conversation since we reconnected. But even as I questioned myself, I knew the exact reason why I messaged her. I’d been in Hawaii for two weeks and aside from Cooper and his friends and Miller, I was alone.
Pulling a deep breath in through my nose, I gripped either side of the table and shook my head. I wasn’t going to be alone tonight—not when I had an invitation not to be. I grabbed my phone and texted Paige, asking if she’d pick me up.
She called me fifteen minutes later, as I was taking a shower. “Hey,” I answered breathlessly, leaning my head against the shower wall furthest from the steady stream of water. “Does that invitation still stand?”
“Yes, why wouldn’t it—hey, is that running water?”
I laughed, but my voice caught. “I’m showering.”
“Oh baby, that’s hot,” she said dryly.
“Hoebag.”
“You bringing the bodyguard?”
“He has a second job.”
She must have heard the hesitation in my voice because she was silent for an uncomfortably long moment before she said, “You don’t have to worry. It’s just going to be a bunch of us, sitting around the beach, playing some music.” I sighed and she added, “And you’ll be with Cooper. Not that that means anything of course . . . just saying since you know him, you know.”
I could hear the smile in her voice.
“I’ll be ready in half an hour,” I said, pushing past the lump in my throat.
I dressed slowly, carefully, in a white eyelet dress that probably wouldn’t have fit as well two weeks ago, and the wedged sandals Cooper teased me about when he caught me wearing them to community service. I wore makeup for the first time since I arrived—red lipstick and dark eyeliner that made my green eyes stand out against my pale skin. As I applied a shimmery bronzer over my skin, I realized that this was the first of so many makeup sessions in the coming weeks. On Monday the cameras would come, the rest of the cast, the paparazzi.
But tonight, I’d have fun with people who weren’t waiting for me to f**k up.
And I’d be with Cooper.
Chapter Eleven
An hour after we hung up, Paige pulled up in her Dodge and blew the horn. Though I’d checked my appearance at least a dozen times since getting dressed, I studied myself one more time before I grabbed my bag and cell phone and locked up behind myself. I’d already sent Miller a text telling him where I was going for the night, but I quickly ran up the outside steps to his apartment and slipped a note beneath his door, just in case, before I climbed into Paige’s van.
Miller would probably message me back soon and tell me what a shitty bodyguard he thought he was.
Paige turned to me, her face pulled into a dramatic pout. “Sorry I’m so late. Had to go play shuttle for a few friends.”
I shook my head. “Not a big deal.” Dragging the seatbelt across my body and buckling it, I continued, “I mean, I’ve only been dressed an hour and the AC unit in your parents’ house sucks, but whatever.”
She nudged my bare shoulder softly with her knuckles. “Smartass,” she said, her face lighting up as she grinned widely. “I’m DD, so you know how that goes.”
My toes curled. “Not really. I lost my license for running into a building while I was f**ked up on methadone.”
The van swerved a little over the yellow line, and Paige flinched. I saw her mouth move into something that looked like “Holy f**k.” She glanced over at me, her face full of remorse and said, “Oh my God, Willow, I didn’t—”
“Ugh, if you apologize I’ll punch you in the boob,” I said. “I’m not proud of what happened, or what I did, or my f**k ups, but its public knowledge.” Still I couldn’t help but take a deep breath to put myself back together. Saying those words aloud just reminded me that so much of my life was a book, left wide open for anyone to skim through.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to seem so . . .”
“What? Insensitive? Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure if you Google me my lawsuits come up before any of the good I’ve done.” All except for one, I thought.
I shook that thought from my head because I didn’t want to think about any of that tonight. I wasn’t sure if that was selfish and f**ked up, but I needed this night for myself.
“Oh, Willow—”
I turned my body in the seat to give her a firm look. “It doesn’t bother me. Let’s just have fun and celebrate Cooper’s win.” I wouldn’t add that this was the first party I’d gone to since the one more than six months ago. The party I’d left on a stretcher. The party that ended my last role and made it necessary for me to be in Honolulu in the first place.
Paige sighed and nodded, but she didn’t loosen her grip on the worn leather wheel. We’d managed to make the entire atmosphere inside of the van toxic, and by the time we pulled into an empty spot in Cooper’s driveway, I felt like I’d die if I didn’t get fresh air. I stumbled out the vehicle, nearly twisting my ankle in the process, and inhaled deeply. I squatted in a position that would have the paparazzi shitting themselves to take a picture, rested my forearms on my knees and counted, slowly, to ten.