Playfully batting her on the arm, the two of us headed out to start our shifts. In the hallway, we were stopped by someone exiting the bathroom. "Oh, hey, Kiera, Jenny."
Looking over to the doors, I contained a sigh. A member of the girl band playing tonight was smiling at me. They called themselves Poetic Bliss, and the girl heading my way was the lead singer. Her name was Rain, but I was pretty sure that wasn't what was written on her birth certificate. Pretty sure, since the other band member's names were Blessing, Meadow, Sunshine, and...Tuesday.
I had a really hard time saying that last one with a straight face. I wasn't sure if they'd all changed their names once joining the band, or if a group of uniquely named girls had just happened to come across each other. I was leaning more towards the name change. The only thing I was certain of, was that Rain knew my boyfriend in ways that most women around here seemed to know my boyfriend. Intimate ways. That was why I always wanted to sigh every time she talked to me. There was a definite downside to dating a former man whore.
Jauntily walking up to me, I tried to not picture her entangled with Kellan. It was kind of hard to not think about it, though. She was spunky, energetic, one of those people that was constantly moving. I kept imagining her being sort of...wild...behind closed doors. Knowing that I really wasn't outrageously great in bed or anything, I immediately felt like I fell short. But love and lust were different things, and all of her playful antics hadn't made Kellan fall for her, so I must be doing something right. Besides...Kellan never complained about our sex life.
Rain came up and gave me a swift hug. "Hey, thank Kellan again for lining up this gig for me. It's awesome here, I love it!" The petite woman was three or four inches shorter than me but she made up for it by wearing six-inch heels on her chunky boots. With her jet-black hair cropped into a short, shaggy mess and her dark eyes highlighted in dramatic shades of gray and pink, she looked the part of a tough rocker chick. The clingy, low-cut shirt and barely-there pleated miniskirt completed the look. Well, that and the spiked collar around her neck.
"Yeah, I'll tell him," I mumbled, wishing I could go back in time and tell a much younger Kellan that saying no was a perfectly acceptable response to come-ons, that sex wasn't the same as love. But I'm pretty sure young Kellan wouldn't have listened. He'd had to figure that one out on his own.
Reaching my hand in my pocket to feel his note, I added, "Have a great night up there. You guys are sounding really good."
She tilted her dark head at me, bouncing up on her toes a little bit. "Thanks! I was so excited to play tonight. I couldn't wait to get here." She looked around the mostly empty hallway. "When do the cute guys come in anyway?"
I bit back a smile. Well, they usually strolled in hours before they played, too. Shrugging, I only told her, "Business picks up in an hour or so."
She nodded, giggling. "I'm gonna shoot some pool then. Catch you later!" With that, she turned and skipped down the hall, the pleats of her skirt showing way more of her bare leg than I'd ever dare to show in public.
Jenny looped her arm through mine. "Stop it right now."
I looked back at her, frowning. "Stop what?"
"Comparing yourself." She nodded up the hall to where the sprightly girl had disappeared. "I know you heard her and Rita talking about hav**g s*x with Kellan. I saw your face when they were describing their moments." She frowned. "Well, before you hightailed it and ran...and I don't blame you for that one."
I cringed, remembering walking into a conversation that I'd never wanted to hear...ever. Apparently Rita and Kellan's hookup had happened right here at the bar, after closing one night. And when I say "bar" I mean that literally...he'd taken her right next to the soda dispenser. I'd dashed out of the conversation just as Rain had been explaining how they'd made his car shake so much that she'd been worried it would tip over. I was not thrilled to have that in my head every time I drove his...baby...somewhere.
I sighed as I started walking down the hall. "It doesn't matter. That's his history," I smiled weakly, "and I'm his future." Hopefully.
Jenny clapped me on the back, smiling brightly. "That's the spirit. Now the next time you say it, say it without looking like your puppy just died."
I laughed at her comment, genuinely feeling better. I still clutched Kellan's love note all throughout my shift, though, especially when Poetic Bliss took the stage.
When I got home that night and stared at all of the evidence of Kellan's affection around my room-notes, lyrics, pictures-I grabbed a suitcase from my closet and started packing. I was leaving Monday with my sister to head back home for the holidays. By this time next week, Kellan and I would be reunited. Just the thought spurred me to action. I couldn't sleep, I needed to do something, and packing seemed as good a distraction as any.
Humming one of Poetic Bliss's songs to myself, I pulled out my warmest sweaters. I made sure I included the ugly green one that made me look like a frumpy housewife. My parents had given it to me last year and I knew my mom would ask about it if I didn't wear it. Since I'd invited Kellan to crash the party, I wanted them in the best mood possible.
Stuffing some socks around the edge of my bag, I startled when my phone trilled at me. Seeing who was calling, I brightened even more. "Hey, you," I sighed, "I've missed you all day."
Kellan laughed in my ear, the sound sending a shiver down my spine. "I missed you, too. Anything noteworthy today?"
He emphasized the word note and I giggled, sitting down on my pile of them. "Ah, yeah, actually. The cleaning staff at school has been slacking off lately. I found at least a hundred slips of paper that the janitors missed."
"Hmmm...just a hundred? Guess some got nabbed by your classmates." He laughed again. "I hope they got the kinky ones."
I flushed, wondering what he meant by kinky. Biting my lip, I smiled and ran a hand back through my hair. "I'm packing right now...I can't wait to see you next week." I looked out the window, east, to where he was miles and miles away from me. "Is there anything you need from your place? I could grab it?"
"I can't wait to see you either. In fact, I bought this lingerie for you before I left, tucked it away for when I got back...you could bring that?"
I sat up straight, flushing even more. I had no idea if he was joking or not. "Uh, I don't...um..."
He chuckled in my ear as I stammered for a response. Just the thought of wearing something sultry and having those bedroom eyes wash over me...it made me tingle. "I'm kidding, Kiera. You don't have to dress sexy for me...you already are."
Smiling, I looked down at the plain tank top and lounge pants I'd put on. Yep, that was me...sexy as all get out. I sighed and he heard it. "You okay?"
Not meaning to say anything, I blurted out, "Rain says thank you...again."
"Oh." His voice sounded surprised. He'd probably been expecting something much different to come out of my mouth. "Well, tell her it was no big deal. Her band is great, they deserve the opportunity."
"Yeah," I muttered, "And she's not one to pass up an opportunity." I bit my lip and cringed, hating that I'd actually said that out loud. I hated sounding jealous and petty.
Kellan, of course, heard my tone and deciphered it correctly. His voice a little tight, he quietly said, "She told you, didn't she?"
I exhaled in a rush, not really wanting to talk about this, but knowing I'd opened the can and Kellan wouldn't let it go until all of the worms were back inside it. "No, I overheard her and Rita comparing notes." I said Rita's name a bit harshly and clamped my mouth shut. God, the harpy was coming out of me today.
Kellan sighed. "Oh...did you know about Rita already?" he whispered that, his voice really tentative.
"Yes." The word came out short, clipped, and I forced myself to relax. History...future. I needed to remember that mantra.
Kellan was silent for a second and I nearly wanted to apologize for bringing it up. He spoke before I could. "I'm sorry, Kiera. I never wanted you to have to hear about...them. If I could stop the gossiping, you know I would."
I sighed and laid back on my bed, propping my feet up. "You don't have to apologize, Kellan. It's...water under the bridge, really." Shaking my head, I tried to change the subject. "What about you, what have you been up to?"
He was quiet a moment, then murmured, "Just shows and traveling. I'm so sorry I haven't had a chance to come home yet. With us on the road between shows, there just hasn't been enough time to fly back to you."
I exhaled, the sound wistful to my ears. "I know. I miss you...so much." I closed my eyes.
He chuckled, his voice husky. "I miss you, too. I have the wildest dreams about you. You would not believe the hard-ons I wake up with."
My eyes sprang open as I listened to him chuckle in my ear. My body heated at his words. I imagined his response to his dreams and my response to my dreams. It warmed me that we were both waking up...unsatisfied. "Me too," I whispered, my face heating worse than my body. He laughed a little more and I slapped my hand over my eyes. "I mean, I'm not hard, but..." I groaned, hating the words that sometimes left my mouth.
In a low, seductive growl, he murmured, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I wish I was there, to touch you when you woke up that way. I wish I could feel how much you miss me."
I bit my lip, my fingers running over my mouth. Barely above a whisper, I said, "I wish you were too..."
He exhaled in a groan. "God, your voice...I'm hard right now, Kiera. I wish you could touch me."
My breath picking up, I heard myself murmur, "I want to." I had no idea if I meant that I wanted to touch him, or that I wanted to continue with where I thought this conversation might be going.
He paused for a second. When he spoke again, there was a heat in his voice that made me melty and gooey; it made me squirm. "Oh, Kiera...I want you so bad...what do you want me to do?"
Covering my eyes, I bit my lip. Oh my God, I could not do this. Feeling moronic, I whispered, "Touch it, pretend it's me." Oh God, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again.
I was expecting Kellan to chuckle, but he didn't, instead I heard some rustling around and I swear-a zipper un-zipping. Oh, damn...
He hissed in a breath, releasing it with a gasp. "Oh, I'm so hard...it feels so good. What now?"
Not believing this was happening, I swallowed. "Stroke it." I didn't just actually say that...did I?
He moaned in my ear, his breath faster. "Kiera...God...feels so good...I wish I was wet, though, like I am when I'm inside you."
I groaned, biting my knuckle. Jesus, was he really...? Insanely glad my sister was asleep, I whispered, "Do you have anything that would...?"
In a strained voice, his breath hitching, he gasped out, "Yeah...hold on." I heard a distinctly squishy noise and wondered just what sort of lubricant Kellan had on hand...and why. When he spoke again though, I couldn't have cared less. "Oh...God...yes, it's warm...like you. You feel so good, wrapped around me..."
Aching myself now, I moaned a little. He was pretending, maybe I should too? "Do you want to touch me, Kellan?"