“I’m glad you came to talk to me,” I croak out.
He dips his head, and kisses the side of my jaw. I don’t even think about it; I tilt my head to give him better access. “I am, too,” he says against my skin.
I could say more, but he’s not looking at my face. He’s not looking at anything. His eyes are closed. His hands slide around to my bottom and he lifts me against him. “I have never wanted to have sex with someone I care about,” he says.
He’s hard against my belly, and I can barely think or take in a breath.
I lift up his shirt, and lay my hands on his stomach. The muscles ripple under my fingertips. I want to touch him. I want to touch him so badly. “Pretend I’m someone you don’t care about,” I say impulsively.
He must have seen my lips, because he stills. “You think I can do that?” he asks, his voice incredulous. He lifts a hand and runs it though his hair. “I don’t think you realize how very much I like you.”
He likes me a lot if the rather impressive size of him pressed against my stomach is any indication.
He must read my mind, because he sighs heavily, and says, “I don’t mean like that.” A muscle ticks in his jaw for a moment, and then he steps back from me, lifts the towel and wraps it around my nak*d body. “I’ve had sex. Lots of sex. But I’ve never had it with anyone who matters to me.”
He’s only known me a few days. “Why do I matter so much? What makes me different?” Now I’m dying to know.
He shakes his head.
“Tell me,” I prompt.
“I’ve been locked in my own world for a really long time,” he says. “I have an excuse to keep people away, because of my disability. And then I saw your tattoo.” I turn his wrist over and trace my finger across it. He shudders at my touch, closing his eyes tightly. “And I felt like maybe, just maybe, we were each locked in our own little worlds and we could let each other out.”
He’s pouring his heart out here, and I have nothing of encouragement to say. “But there’s nothing wrong with you,” I start. I look up at him, and he looking at me with a warning in his eyes.
“That’s not true.” He shakes his head.
“There’s nothing wrong with you. So, we’re not on equal footing, and we never will be.”
He shakes his head again, like there’s something on the tip of his tongue that he wants to say but won’t.
“I can’t read. I can’t get a job. I can’t go to school. I can’t do any of the things my family wanted for me.” Actually, they’d wanted me to get married and have babies, because all I was good for was being a trophy wife. But I refused. That’s why I left. They’d compartmentalized me, deciding I couldn’t play my music because it was “beneath our class” and I couldn’t further my education, because it was too hard for them to watch me struggle. It was all about them. Always about them.
“Don’t underestimate your own value, dummy,” he says.
I stiffen. I hate that word. Absolutely hate it. He stiffens when I do.
“What?” he asks. “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t ever call me a dummy, Logan,” I say, my teeth grinding together so hard they hurt.
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry,” he rushes to say. He takes my face in his hands, holding it tightly as he looks into my eyes. “I didn’t mean it.” He chuckles, but there’s no mirth in the sound. “It’s a term of endearment in our family. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Really I didn’t. I don’t think you’re stupid. You have a f**king learning disability. But you’re not stupid. I know that.”
I wish I knew it. He sounds so sure about it. “It’s all right,” I say, but I’m already pushing back from him. Tears are pricking at the backs of my lashes.
“Don’t pull away from me,” he warns.
That makes me laugh. “I’m not the one who’s always pulling away, Logan,” I remind him. I push him back again, but he’s not having any of it. Suddenly, his hands clutch my bottom and he hoists me up onto the bathroom countertop.
“Forgive me,” he says.
I nod, and he kisses the corners of my eyes where tears have formed. That word hurts me. It always has. And it was the final straw that made me leave my parent’s house. That word and others like it. I’ve heard them for too long.
He bends his head and his lips touch mine. He licks into me, his tongue soft but insistent. I lay my palm flat on the side of his face and he keeps kissing me. He’s taking my mind off that word. I already know what he’s doing. I applaud him for it. Because he’s stealing the pain along with my wits.
He jerks the towel from between us, and looks down at my nak*d body. I’m perched there on the countertop, and he stands between my legs. He licks his lips, and my heart beats double time. God, he’s sexy. I pull his mouth back to mine, and he allows it, but not for more than a moment. Then his head dips, and he takes my nipple into his mouth. He’s not gentle. He’s rough. His five o’clock shadow rubs against the underside of my breast as he suckles my nipple, drawing it deep into his mouth, touching something inside me that I didn’t even know existed.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, lifting his head to look into my face.
I shake my head. “Don’t stop,” I say. I thread my fingers into his hair, and hold him tight to me, tugging his hair gently, and he moans around my nipple. My head falls back, and I lean against the mirror, watching his face as he sucks on the turgid flesh. His other hand slides down my belly, toward my curls, where it slips between my legs. I open my legs wider for him. Logan raises his head, and buries his face in the curve of my neck as he dips a finger inside me and brings it forward, using my own wetness to slicken his way. His finger strums across my clit, and I nearly leap off the counter. He presses his body closer to mine, his free hand plucking at my nipple, elongating it with his urgent tugs, as his middle finger strokes me.
If he doesn’t stop, I’m going to come. “Logan,” I say. He can’t see my lips, so I tug his head up until he looks at me. I can barely get the words to form on my lips. “I’m going to come before you do, if you don’t stop.” I start to work at the button on his jeans and he brushes my hands away.
He looks deep into my eyes and asks, “What’s your name?”
I can’t answer. I don’t answer. I close my eyes tightly and arch against his fingertips, which are still taking me higher. When I don’t respond, Logan growls, drops onto his knees in front of me, and shoves my legs apart. Then he licks me from bottom to top.
I sink my hands into his hair, tugging him up when he goes down, and he takes the hint. He latches onto my cl*t with his lips and tongue, suckling softly as he stares up at me, his eyes as blue as the sea. I look into his face as he pushes me, and pushes me, and pushes me and then finally I’m crying out. He doesn’t stop when I start to come. Instead, he slides a finger inside me and strokes me from the inside, while his mouth feasts on me. “Oh, God!” I cry.
My body quakes and I shake uncontrollably, pressing his face closer to me as I come. He slows his licks and nudges as my body stills. Now when he licks me from bottom to top, I like it, and I tremor as he passes my clit. He does it over and over until my body stills. I lie back limply against the mirror, and pull him up to face me. “Your turn,” I say, and I reach for the button of his jeans.
He shakes his head. “No.”
“What?” I don’t understand.
He lifts me to stand in front of him.
“You don’t want me?” I ask.
“Fuck, girl, I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone or anything.” He presses his forehead against mine and he’s breathing hard. His lips touch mine softly, but there’s an urgency there, too. He bends over and picks up the towel, wrapping it around me, tucking it tightly between my br**sts. Then he opens the door, shoves me out into the hallway, and locks the bathroom door behind me.
Logan
Fuck!
I scrub my hand down my face, and then run my fingers through my hair, squeezing my head in my hands like a big pimple that’s ready to burst. That’s not the only thing that’s ready to burst.
I’ve never been as f**king turned on as I am right now. Kit was wet, and warm, and she was willing. She would have let me f**k her right here on the countertop if I’d said yes. I know she would have. And she wouldn’t have had any regrets. But I would. Although right now, I’m rethinking my decision to put her outside the door. I reach for the handle and get ready to turn it so I can beckon her back into the room, but I jerk my hand back.
I desperately needed to take that look off her face, and the only thing I could think of was to put her mind on something else. But now I can’t get my mind off the look on her face when she came. Or how tightly she gripped my finger when she trembled. Good God, that girl can undo me.
My junk is so hard I could pound nails with it.
The door vibrates as someone pounds on it. Probably Paul telling me to hurry up so I won’t be late for work. But my dick’s so hard that I can barely stand up straight, much less walk.
I run my hands through my hair again. Deep breaths.
Shit. I’ll never get out of here this way.
I take a towel from under the sink and lay it in front of me, and unzip my jeans. This won’t take but a second. Because I know I’ll think about her while I do it. I spit into my palm and take the head of my dick in my hand, pulling away from me with a tight grip.
God, I’ll never get the sight of her coming out of my mind. She’d cried out once. I’m sure of it. I could feel her throat move through the side of my cheek. It was a soft vibration, and it happened when she started to squeeze around my finger.
It only takes a few pulls, and I rise up on my tiptoes, spilling onto the towel on the sink. I think about how it would feel to be inside her right now, and my balls lift up tight against my body as I come. Oh, God. God, I want to be inside her so bad.
I sink back down onto my heels, spent. I lean heavily against the door, trying to catch my breath. The door shakes with the pounding of a heavy fist. I wash my hands, and throw the towel in the hamper. Shit. I’m glad I did that. But I wish it had happened differently.
I tuck myself back into my jeans, and I’m still semi-hard, but not so hard that I can’t walk. I open the door, and Paul greets me with an arched brow. “Better?” he asks, grinning.
Fuck you, dumbass, I sign.
“Fuck you,” he repeats, laughing. “Oh, wait. You already got f**ked.” He tilts his head at me. “How was it?”
I jerk him into the bathroom with me. I didn’t f**k her.
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, tell it to someone who couldn’t hear her crying out in here.” He pushes against my chest playfully. “Next time, warn a guy so he can leave. That shit was loud.”
What was loud? I’m confused.
Very dramatically, he signs, “Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Logan! Logan! Logan!” He punches me again. This time it hurts. I rub at the spot. “That shit would have been hot if it hadn’t been my brother on the other side of the door. As it was, it was just awkward.”