“I should have saved some for me.” Sean is breathing hard. I feel his erection pressing into my leg.
I smile at him. “You make me so crazy. We weren’t supposed to have sex.”
“That wasn’t sex.” He presses his hard shaft against my leg and I smile. My girl parts clench and I think about him thrusting into me. My mind is so addled with lust, it’s a fog that’s growing thicker and thicker.
I manage to breathe and string some words together into a semi-coherent thought. “Since when is a hand-job not sex?”
“And you think it is because…?”
I smile awkwardly, “Because I’m supposed to charge for those.” I laugh. I can’t help it. Sean smiles and laughs with me.
“Mmm,” he says, and kisses my neck. “That’s a very reasonable answer.” One of his hands is on my thigh and dips between my legs. He strokes me again and I moan. I want more. I want him.
I’m about to let him when a random part of my brain springs to life. “Wait.” Sean’s hand stills and he looks me in the eye. “You wanted to start over, right? So, what does that mean? What are we?”
Sean blinks and pulls his hand away. He runs his fingers through his hair and looks over at me. “Friends, I guess.”
“Damn. No wonder why you’re jealous of my friends. I think you have your definitions messed up.” I touch his arm lightly.
Sean looks over at me with a wry expression on his face. “Maybe.”
“Try definitely. Unless you have sex with all your friends?” I’m worried for a moment. I wonder if he’s slept with anyone else since he was with me. What a stupid thought. Of course he has. He ordered a hooker and got me. This guy isn’t dating material…but I want him anyway.
Sean gives me a crooked smile. “Only the really hot ones.” There’s something about him that seems timid and uncertain. He swallows so hard that I can hear it. It’s as if he’s grappling with something. After a moment, Sean leans forward and rubs his hands over the back of his head. He’s looking at the floor when he says, “I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?”
Sean sits up and looks at me. “You. I don’t know how to be friends with you. I want you. I want to have you the way I want you, but at the same time, I can’t put you through that. But I need it. But I want you too… I don’t want to lose you.” Sean seems so torn. He looks away and grips the sides of his head with his hands.
I know what he means. He’s talking about his sexual needs. For a moment, I wonder if I could do it, but if he doesn’t want to put me through it, I probably couldn’t manage it at all. Last time he tried, I totally freaked out and I had the impression that we didn’t even get started. But I want to be with him. I love him.
I slide my hand over his back. Oh my God, his skin feels so hot. I want to lean over and lick him. I banish the thoughts because they don’t jive with what I’m about to say. Actually, I don’t know what possesses me to say it. “Then, let’s make it so you won’t lose me. Be my friend. No sex, you know, like normal friends.”
Sean smirks. “I don’t have any normal friends. I hang out with hookers and business acquaintances.”
My eyes turn into dinner plates and I stare at him. “You seriously have no friends?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t have time for them. And most of them are the kind that just want something from me. Money makes it hard to have actual friends, and not just a bunch of leeches that hope I’ll toss them a wad of cash.”
I blink at him. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. What about your family?”
He shrugs. “My little brother is kind of going through something. He’s never around. My parents get on me about going to a shrink whenever I see them, so I don’t bother anymore. Besides that, there is no one I really care about.” He looks up at me, grinning, and adds, “Except you. So, will you be my sexy friend who sometimes touches herself in front of me? Because that would make us best friends really fast.” There’s an absolutely wicked smile on his face.
My jaw drops open into an O. I slap his arm and laugh as my face gets hot. I can’t believe he said that, even with the playful tone in his voice. I know he’s joking, but it still makes me blush. “No! And never talk about this again. And get dressed. I’m not supposed to see you nak*d.”
“But you like it.” Sean grins and leans back, exposing his beautiful body.
My eyes sweep over him one last time. I know I won’t be with him again. “We’re not going to be nak*d friends. Get dressed. I’m taking a shower.” I stand and walk over to the shower stall. I stop for a second when I realize that he hasn’t moved. Glancing back at him, I ask, “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. You’re just amazing, that’s all. I’ve been stunned into silence and immobilized…”
I arch an eyebrow at him. “And you want to see me nak*d.”
Sean’s eyes sweep over me in a carnal way that makes my heart jump. “I already have, and it’s not the kind of thing that I’ll forget.” He winks at me and leaves the bathroom.
My heart is hammering way too hard. I’m not sure what happened. After doing some very dirty things, I think we decided to be friends, and somehow it was my idea. I need to have my head checked.
CHAPTER 6
“Oooh! Get this one!” I throw my leg over the side of the bike after gripping the handle bars. I pull myself up onto the bike seat. The urge to say vroom! vroom! makes me giggle.
Sean is standing in the aisle at the motorcycle dealership. There are rows and rows of motorcycles. Some are shiny with tons of chrome, while others are bright colors and made of plastic. Sean folds his arms over his chest. “I’d need to lose my testicles first. That’s a chick bike.”
I straighten in the seat and c*ck my head. “It is not.”
He laughs. “Yes, it is.”
“How can you tell?”
Sean shakes his head and circles the bike before looking up at me. “One, because it’s pretty, and two, because it makes you look hot. Manly men don’t want pretty bikes, although I might get it for you.” He reaches out and lifts the price tag dangling off the handle bars. My car is no longer running. I left it in the impound lot and don’t plan on picking it up. It won’t run again. I’m currently carless.
I slip off the bike. “You’ not allowed to buy me anything.”
“What? Are you serious?” Sean looks up at me and drops the price tag. “Why?”
I shrug and walk around the bike, dragging my fingers over the shiny paint. “I want you to be sure that I’m not hanging around for your money. I like you the way you are, demented fetishes and all.” Sean’s eyes darken when I mention it. The way his gaze moves over my body sends a chill up my spine. It’s like his eyes are hands and I’m suddenly breathless.
I clear my throat and try to act like that didn’t just happen. “So, which bike are you getting?”
Sean runs his hand through his hair and down his neck as he glances around the showroom. His eyes sweep over a ton of bikes, but he doesn’t seem excited to be here. “No idea.”
“Then, let’s go somewhere else. Maybe the right bike isn’t here. Maybe we should be on a different lot looking at minivans.” The corner of my mouth tugs up as I tease him.
“Wise-ass.”
“I know you like my ass, but we’re talking about bikes. Jeeze, Sean. Focus.” I straddle another bike and look at the shiny chrome dials. I slide my finger across the glass faces, and then take the handle bars. I say it without thinking. “Vroom! Vroom!”
Sean laughs so hard that he chokes. The salesman that Sean banished looks over at as, but doesn’t say anything. Sean wipes a tear from the corner of his eye and steps toward the bike. He puts his hands around my waist and helps me down. God he smells good. “That is a dead giveaway that you’re not a biker. Stop freaking out the sales guy.”
Sean’s hands linger a beat too long. When his fingers slip away from my waist, I turn back toward the bike. “This one is the coolest bike in here.”
“You mean the prettiest.”
“I mean, this is your new bike. This one.” I point at it with both hands for emphasis.
“And why’s that?” Sean grins, and folds his arms over his chest. He tilts his head to the side and looks the bike over. It has shiny blue paint that matches his eyes and enough chrome to make it light up like a disco ball in the sunshine.
“Because it’s so blue, like impossibly blue. And it’s huge and manly, and…” I run around to the back of the bike and pat my hand on the seat. “And look at this seat! I could totally sit here for hours. It even has a backrest!” I’m all smiles, and mouthing buy me when the salesman approaches.
“Did you find something you like?” Kenny is an older guy that seems too twitchy. Sean told me that he’s afraid that I’ll knock a row of bikes over. Kenny has gray hair and a fluffy beard like Santa Claus, but he frowns too much.
“Yes, I did.” Sean’s gaze is resting on me as I’m making an ass out of myself, pointing at the bike and moving my mouth in slow motion, forming silent words. It makes me stop. I purse my lips and give him a look, but Sean breaks my gaze quickly and addresses Kenny. “I’ll take this one. Get it ready and set us both up with riding gear—jackets and whatever else you have.”
“You are not buying me anything.” I fold my arms over my chest.
Kenny looks at me and then back at Sean. Sean tilts his head toward me and adds, “I want a pair of pants, too. Leather – her size.”
Kenny nods. He takes the tag off the bike and starts the paperwork.
After he leaves, I walk over to Sean. “What the hell was that?”
“What?” Sean is walking away from me, slowly walking back to the helmet displays.
I grab his arm and turn him around. “I don’t want you to buy me stuff.”
“And that’s why I’m buying it. Besides, I want to take you for a ride and I’m not doing it if you plan on riding around in a sundress with nothing to protect you. I like this nose. I want it to stay on your face.” He presses his finger to the tip of my nose when he says it and then turns and walks away. It’s such a sweet gesture that it makes renders me silent.
So much for protesting, I guess I’m getting leather pants, boots, and a helmet. I’m a little excited about looking badass. I skip behind Sean and still pretend to be angry with him for ignoring my wishes, but I’m secretly saying vroom! vroom! in my mind and squealing like a lunatic.
CHAPTER 7
It’s late by the time I get back to the dorm. I walk up the stairs to my door room and get some enthusiastic whistles from a group of guys heading down the stairs and out towards the intermural field. Apparently my butt looks mighty fine in my new leather pants. I left my helmet with Sean, but took the pants and the boots. The boots are awesome. The make me feel like Godzilla. The urge to stomp down the hallway, slamming my feet into the floor consumes me. I say screw it and stomp twice, taking two huge steps with my arms dangling in front of me like T-Rex.