I lowered my head so I couldn’t see his expression, and then opened the frosted glass door to the shower and stepped inside.
Was he going to come in after me? Would he touch me? Hold me? Make love to me? What was I thinking? There would never be making love again, it would be f**king. The question was whether it would be willing or not.
I turned on the tap to straight cold wincing as the freezing water hit my skin. It jolted any desire I was foolishly feeling over Logan right down the drain.
I quickly washed my hair then picked up the washcloth to scrub the stench off my skin. I rubbed so hard that my skin turned bright red. I lightened the pressure on the back of my legs and avoided my back, where my skin was still raw. I needed to get the feeling of Alfonzo and Jacob and Raul off me. Logan? Why hadn’t I even thought of Logan? Why wasn’t I sick to my stomach at the thought of him holding me all night?
“Come out here.”
The washcloth dropped from my hands as I looked and saw the outline of Logan leaning up against the counter, arms crossed.
I turned off the taps and came out. He looked me up and down and frowned then reached over and grabbed the towel hanging on the hook. He came toward me, then began drying my skin. There was nothing methodical about it either. It was slow and sensual; he held the towel in his palm, so his thumb could brush over my skin with each stroke. His hand slid over my abdomen then lower until his hand rested on my mound. He stopped and looked at me. “Open.”
I swallowed. Then inched my legs apart closing my eyes. I had mixed emotions, because I felt embarrassed, and yet there was a flicker of desire. There was a fine line he was drawing here, and I just wasn’t sure which way it would go.
He stepped closer. His thumb skimmed between my legs with the towel trailing. I held my breath. He never took his eyes off me as he discovered the smooth silky moisture of my craving. I stopped breathing, hating that he knew I was turned on.
His eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched.
Then like it never happened, he quickly dried my inner thighs then threw the towel on the floor. “Leave off the nightgown. Go kneel by the bed.”
I opened my mouth to ... What, tell him off? Tell him no? Refuse to do what he asked and risk being beaten or thrown in the basement with Jacob? Or worse sold?
I walked out of the bathroom and heard the water turn back on just as I knelt on the floor. I knew what this was about; I wasn’t stupid. I figured it out the second I saw the girls in the dining room. He was training me.
I was Logan’s sex slave, although sex had yet to come into play, but I had no doubt it would. He’d brought my birth control pills for Christ’s sake. I was to do what he wanted without question—never disobey, never speak unless asked to, and submit to all men. I belonged to him, and it was not by free will.
Logan came out of the bathroom nak*d. “Eyes down.”
I could hear him getting dressed, the cupboard door opening, rustling clothes, and then a click as the cupboard shut again. His footsteps drew close then stopped in front of me.
“Open your mouth.”
I did, and he put a slice of apple in my mouth.
“Today you will come with me to my training. You must learn what to do when in public, Emily.” His fingers held another slice of apple, and I opened my mouth, and he slid it inside. “Behave like this, and we won’t have any issues.”
My stomach churned at the thought of witnessing the last scene in the dining area. I was afraid I’d panic and run or fight. Logan tried to feed me another piece of apple, but I turned my head away.
“You have to eat.”
I shook my head.
“Open.”
“No. I can’t. Please. I feel sick to my stomach. Logan plea—” I stopped suddenly knowing instantly that I’d used his real name when I was told not to. I still had the red marks on my skin from the whip and never wanted to feel the cruel slice of it again. I lowered my head. “I’m sorry. I forgot.”
I started trembling.
When his hand came down on my shoulder I lost it and started crying. Was going to whip me? Or take me to Jacob? It was a mistake. I didn’t mean to call him by name.
“Emily.” I kept sobbing, my head in my hands rocking. “Look at me.”
I did. I had to or suffer something worse than what I anticipated.
He cupped my chin and rubbed his thumb over top of the crevice just below my lower lip. “You cannot use my name here. Ever. I think you know that.” I nodded. “If you need to call me something, it must be Master.”
My breath hitched.
“Say it.”
The word was trapped in my clogged throat; I was filled with denial of what I had to do. For some reason the idea of calling any man Master was ... It was humiliating, degrading. God, it made me feel like an object with no self-worth.
His hand tightened on my chin. “Emily.”
It was just a word. It was just a word. “Master.”
“Good girl.” He didn’t smile; actually he frowned, and then he got up abruptly and went into the bathroom and slammed the door.
I waited on my knees until he finally came back out a cold mask of determination on his face. I didn’t like that face, it wasn’t mad or calm or smiling; it was unreadable, and that was dangerous.
“A girl will bring you clothes. Wear them. I’ll be back to get you in a half hour.” He didn’t even bother looking at me as he walked past, unlocked the door, and left.
When he came back I was dressed in a black dress that dipped so low in the front that it barely covered my n**ples. It fit tight to my body, over my h*ps to my upper thigh. It wasn’t sexy; it was trashy, and I felt that way. I would have rather worn the white nightgown than this dress.
Logan told me to stand then looked me up and down, and then, as if satisfied, nodded and reached out his hand. I walked toward him and took it.
“I wanted to keep you hidden from this, but that isn’t going to happen. You need to learn to tune out what is happening around you. Just like I taught you to overcome your fear with anger, you need to overcome your emotions and bury them. Numb, Emily. That is what it will take to survive.”
Why was he telling me this? So, I didn’t freak out again? What did he care if I was tortured? He watched another man shove his fat finger up inside me, did nothing as I was whipped over and over again. Why does he care about me at all?
“Come.” He pulled me after him, and we made our way through the massive house, girls passing us, heads lowered, never making eye contact. Several guards wandered the premises, and I noticed some of the doors had a guard standing outside of them.
Logan ignored everyone and walked with long strides through the complex down a path to another building that had two guards standing on the outside. When they saw Logan they opened the double doors and nodded to him.
I kept my head down, but I tried to see as much as I could as we passed what looked like a set of weights then several red punching bags where two men were currently working out.
Logan stopped. “Stay here.”
I waited, hearing the constant sounds of smacks and grunts as men trained. In front of me was a platform where two guys were sparing. I couldn’t get a good glimpse without raising my head, and in a room full of men I didn’t want to take the chance of anyone seeing me. I was learning fast about what was expected of me, and the pain and humiliation was far less if I kept my mouth shut and my eyes down.
Was that weak? No, it was survival. There’s a time and place where I’d fight, and I would. I didn’t know if it was in me to ever give up. I’d never given up on my dream to ride horses. My mom was an alcoholic who insisted I was useless, ugly, and fat, so I did what I had to ... I worked after school since I was sixteen and saved every cent. Then at eighteen I moved in with Kat and her brother Matt. It was Matt who let me borrow his car so that every weekend I could go to the stable.
“Emily.” Logan’s voice slammed into me, and I looked up at him. He frowned, and I quickly lowered my head again. He chin-lifted to a spot over to the right of the ring. “Kneel over there. I’ll come get you when I’m done.”
He wanted me to kneel on the cement floor? To stay there and wait for him like a dog? Why didn’t he stick a prong collar on me while he was at it? My thoughts must have been vivid in my expression, because he grabbed my arm and walked me over to where he wanted me to kneel and pushed me down.
I opened my mouth.
“No.” His abrupt, cold warning was enough to have me looking at my hands in my lap. He nodded to the left, and my eyes looked in the direction, but I was careful to keep my head down. My chest tightened when I saw Jacob, Alfonzo, and Raul. They were near the door talking to a guy hitting a speed bag.
I stiffened when they began their approach, and my entire body was already running and hiding in one of the cupboards on the other side of the room. A foolish and completely useless thought, but when men you feared were coming toward you, well your mind came up with the most ridiculous ideas.
“Sculpt,” Raul said. “Where’s Dave?”
“On his way.”
“Good.” Raul’s eyes shifted to me, and I quickly lowered my head even further. “I have a shipment coming in that needs to be checked out. After training, you and Alfonzo will go look after the contents.”
I knew how angry Logan was by the slight twitch of his index finger on his left hand. He wasn’t happy about Raul’s request or, rather, his order. “Send someone else.”
Raul slapped Logan on the back and chuckled. “If I wanted someone else to go, I’d have asked them.”
“I fight. I’m not one of your men.”
Raul shrugged then reached down and grabbed me by the hair and pulled me to my feet and shoved me at Alfonzo. “You’re right. You’re not one of my men, and my fighters don’t get slaves as they are a distraction.” Raul nodded to Alfonzo. “Get her out of here. Put her up on auction. Forty thousand.”
My eyes widened with panic as Alfonzo leered down at me. His beady eyes laughed at the fear trembling through my body.
“I’ll do it.” Logan’s tone was cold and calm, but loud enough for Raul to take notice and hold up his hand to Alfonzo. “Let her go.” Logan glared at Alfonzo, and I thought he might smash his fist into his face. “Now.”
“Let her go, Alfonzo.” Raul’s thin lips pressed together as he stared at me, and I had the impression that he wasn’t pleased with the fact that Logan had spoken up for me.
Alfonzo shoved me forward, and I fell on my knees in front of Logan. I kept my head down, my tears of relief hidden behind my veil of hair.
The door opened with a loud bang; then running feet came toward us. “Sorry I’m late. Let’s do this, Sculpt.”
Logan didn’t wait to be excused by Raul. I saw his feet turn, and heard him walk away, leaving me with Raul and the others.
“Don’t think he’ll protect you all the time.” Raul leaned over as he spoke in his squeaky, accented voice. He reached out, and it took everything inside me to remain as still as possible. I clenched my teeth together so hard that my head vibrated. His fingers slid through my hair then to my shoulder and across the front of my neck then down ... His hand cupped my breast as he ran his thumb back and forth over my nipple.