“You're not intruding,” She huffed a laugh and went back to some video she was watching, “I swear you fit in this family better than he does. I wish I had another brother, I'd make you marry him so you could be my sister.”
I choked on the chip I'd just put in my mouth and walked out of the pantry to gulp down some water. When I got it dislodged from my throat, I hopped onto a barstool and dug into the bag again.
“You're eating again Harper?”
I paused for a second, then shoved the handful of chips in my mouth. “Yeah?”
“You just ate two burgers not even thirty minutes ago.” Bree was looking at the bag with disgust. “I've never even see you finish one.”
“I know,” I sighed and rolled up the chip bag, “I'm just so freaking hungry these last two days, I think I'm going to start soon.”
“No you're not,” She said sure of herself, “We still have a little over a week.” Bree and I were together so much, we had synchronized. And trust me it wasn't a fun week for anyone.
“You sure?” I swear I felt like it had been forever since I had one.
“Mhmm.” She burst into laughter and started clicking on the video again, “Oh my God Harper, come watch this.”
I stood next to her but didn't register what we were watching, I was too busy trying to remember when my last one had been. Bree had to be wrong, because I don't remember having our monthly chocolate and romance comedy fest lately. I hated them and she never let me get out of that, but when was the last time we'd had one? I had to go find my phone, I had a calendar on there where I tracked my periods. I unconsciously started eating the chips again thinking about times when I avoided anything other than chaste kisses with Brandon. It didn't hurt his feelings, he knew what was going on when I got in those moods.
“Well look who decided to join the party. Mom and Dad are already asleep.”
I slowly turned to look down at Bree, was she talking to me? She had paused the video and was leaning back in the chair, arms folded across her chest, shooting daggers towards the living room. Following her line of sight, I dropped the bag when I saw him standing there.
“I was busy, Harper can I talk to you?”
“Uh,” I glanced back at Bree's annoyed but confused expression, “yeah. Yeah I guess.” I took two steps before gripping the counter, “Whoa.” Crap not again.
“Are you okay?” They both rushed to me and I held a hand up to stop them.
“I'm fine, I just got dizzy for a second.” I took a calming breath, “Thought I was going to faint again.”
Bree tilted her head to the side and looked at me curiously, Chase was in a fight with himself on whether to help me stay standing or not touch me at all.
“How do you feel now?” Bree questioned.
“Fine, I guess. That was really weird.”
“Chase, maybe now isn't a good time.”
“No I'm good Bree, I'll be right back.” I followed Chase out to the driveway, and though I wanted to close the distance between us, I stayed a few feet away. “Hi.” I said pathetically. How would I ever tell him goodbye if I was already struggling with myself to not kiss him?
He blew out through his nose, “Hey Princess.”
“Where have you been?”
“Working a lot, classes, surfing. That's about it.”
I nodded my head and looked at my feet, “Your family misses you.”
“Do you?”
“Of course I do Chase.” How could he think I didn't?
“Harper I've given you more than enough time. I can't stand to stay away from you anymore, I need to know who you choose.”
“You're really going to do this now? Bree could be listening from the front door!”
“Yes, now. I need to know.”
“Chase how can you even ask me to choose between you two?” I hissed through my teeth and met his glare, “You left me, like you always do. You expected me to think you still wanted me after you've completely avoided me for a month?”
He threw his arms out, “I was giving you time! You asked me to give you time!”
“I didn't want you to avoid me like the plague, I wanted you to fight for me. To show me that you loved me like you said you did.”
“I do love you Harper, and that's why I gave you that time to think about things without me interfering.”
I took a step back and he matched it, after a few silent moments I finally answered him, “I'm sorry Chase, but I can't.”
“No. No, no n–”
“I can't be with you. I love Brandon, I'm sorry.” I whispered.
“Baby don't say that. I will fight for you, I will. Please just give us a shot.”
“A part of me will probably always love you too, but I can't take chances with you Chase. You'll leave me one day, and it will kill me when you do.”
“Wha– No! I wouldn't, I swear I wouldn't.” He reached for me then and I let him hold me.
“You can't stay with any one girl, that's just how you are. And that's fine Chase, it's fine. You're with different girls every night, but when I think about love I think about forever. You can't give me that, so I'm not going to hurt myself by only having you for a short time.”
He lifted my face and stared into my eyes, his were filled with unshed tears and the sight of it almost knocked me off my feet, “I haven't been with anyone but you since you started dating Brandon. I knew then there would never be anyone else like you, and I wasn't going to waste time being with someone else.”
I wanted to believe it, and truthfully I did. He was never with girls anymore, but that didn't change anything. Chase had left me again. No matter what he said, he would always leave me. I gently kissed the corner of his mouth and stepped out of his arms, “I love you Chase.”
“Baby please, don't do this!”
“I have to, I'm sorry.”
He held onto my hand, “Why? Why can't you be with me?”
I didn't answer. I'd already told him everything there was to know about why I couldn't let myself be hurt by him.
“Are you sleeping with him too, Harper?”
“Why does that matter?”
“Please,” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “just tell me if you are sleeping with him.”
I wanted to tell him it wasn't his business, but of course that didn't come out, “I've only been with you.” He let go of my hand then and I made it half way up the drive before it hit me. Oh. My. Word. My eyes went wide and I sucked in a startled gasp. Oh God, oh no.
“What? What's wrong?”
“I have to go.” I almost shouted as I ran for the house.
This couldn't be happening. I took the stairs two at a time and rushed into Bree's room searching frantically for my phone. I ignored the text from Brandon and pulled up the calendar. She hadn't been lying, I was supposed to start in a week and a half. I flipped back to last month and saw I never put in when I'd started, because I hadn't. There on the calendar were the ovulation days, and smack dab in the middle were the two days I'd been with Chase. I shut off my phone and cursed when Bree came into the room.
“Are you okay? What did he say to you? I swear he's such an ass!”
“No-nothing. It's not him, I just feel kind of dizzy again.”
“Well what did he want, he left after you came flying in here like a bat outta hell.”
Think Harper, think. “Um, he was just...asking about a tattoo Brandon wants.”
She stood there staring at me for a minute, she didn't believe me and I didn't blame her. “Is there anything I can get you?”
“I just need to go to sleep.” And freak out for a while without your knowing eyes on me.
We decided not to go back to the dorm tonight, and got ready for bed there. I buried my face in the pillow and chanted over and over again that I was wrong, this wasn't happening, it was just a dream.
Waking up the next morning, I jumped out of bed and hummed to myself while I was in the shower. I had just been stressing last night, and forgetting about my period from the previous month. I would have freaked out when I originally missed it, and I hadn't so I was just making it seem like I could be – nope not even gonna say the word. Bree said she was going to start breakfast, and after I got dressed I skipped down to meet her.
“You look like you feel better.” She grinned while she poured the egg yolks into the skillet.
“I do! I don't know what was wrong with me last night. Probably just too much junk food.”
She grunted, “That's an understatement. I've never seen you eat that much.”
I laughed but stopped abruptly. What in the world? “What is that smell?”
Bree stepped away from the stove and took a few hesitant sniffs. “I don't smell anything but the eggs.”
“Ugh, are they bad?” I opened the fridge and looked at the date on the carton. They still had a week and Bree and I had picked them up just yesterday for Mom. I shut the door and walked to the cabinet to get a glass. When I stepped behind Bree I was assaulted again by the smell of the eggs. I barely made it to the kitchen sink before throwing up everything from the night before. Aw hell.
Bree held my hair back and got me a glass of water when I finished. When I finally looked up at her I was surprised to see her pissed off. Her mouth was mashed into a straight line, arms folded over her chest, an eyebrow raised. She wasn't stupid, she'd put it together.
“Are you kidding me?” She screeched, “You didn't even tell me you'd had sex with him!”
I started shaking and fat tears were falling down my face, “This can't be happening.” I sobbed and slid to the ground, “I'm just sick, right? This isn't happening!”
She sat on the ground in front of me and pulled me into a hug. “Shh, it will be okay.” She rubbed her hands over my back in comfort, “Have you taken a test Harper?”
“No, no I can't,” I sobbed, “I can't be.”
Heaving a sigh, she stood up and pulled me with her. “Well then maybe you're not.” Her sad smile told me she didn't believe that for a second, “But we're going to find out. Come on,” she grabbed two large water bottles out of the fridge and handed them to me. “Start drinking these, I'll drive.”
We didn't say anything the entire drive to the drug store. When she pulled into a parking spot I just shook my head and handed her my card. Five minutes later she came out with a bag full of boxes and handed them to me. I stared at the bag, and after a minute started reading directions.
“You knew Bree, didn't you.”
She sighed and grabbed my hand, “I figured.”
“How?”
“A lot of things. You've been eating a ton, last night wasn't your first dizzy spell. You get out of breath when we walk to class, and you refused to leave Brandon's side when I was having our week of hell last month. I kept thinking it, but every time I brought up sex, you told me you still weren't ready. And then today...well it was just the final piece of the puzzle.”
I didn't say anything else, just continued to down the water and try to stop my entire body from shaking. When we got back to Mom and Dad's she waited in the bedroom while I used a stick out of each of the four boxes. If I was going to find out, I wanted to be sure. Bree held me while I bawled my eyes out later from the results. There had been a smiley face, a 'Yes', a plus sign and a 'Pregnant'.