“Oh, God,” I said under my breath as I picked up my luggage at the carousel and began the descent down the long corridor to catch a cab.
At the end, near the doors, stood Cherry, Charlie, Callum, Harper, and the rest of the gang, including Jason. Just to the right stood a bouncing Kelly on the arm of Carter. My stomach plummeted but not at the sight of Kelly, which shocked the hell out of me. No, it was because my eyes kept searching behind Jason for January, of all freaking people. January!
Marty held up a huge sign that read, “Mister Thomas Eriksson, Big Shot and All Around Badass.” I dropped my bags and held out my arms. She ran to me and I picked her up, spinning her around, before setting her down and hugging all of my extended family.
“Love the sign, M,” I told her, squeezing her shoulders.
“You’re welcome.”
“So, my place or yours?” I asked everyone, inciting a cheer.
“Ours,” Charlie said, gesturing to Cherry, as we all began to fall out the door, chatting amongst ourselves, excited and full of mischief.
“How’ve things been around here?” I asked for the millionth time that week when Jason and I got a few feet ahead of everyone.
“Dude, you keep asking me that and I told you, everything’s cool. Is there something in particular you’re worried about? Because Europe is a done deal, my friend. I’ve got your tickets all ready in my office. Chill.” He eyed me warily before it dawned on him. “Oh, shit! It’s the girl, isn’t it?”
“What girl?” I feigned...badly.
“You’ve still got it for January MacLochlainn, don’t you? She is hot as shit, Tom, but what about the one responsible for this wardrobe malfunction you’ve got going on?” he teased. I peered over my shoulder at Kelly, surprised that I sort of forgot she was behind us. Jason looked as well and nodded discretely. “Ah, I see.”
“No, it’s not like that anymore.” I shook my head in disbelief at that revelation. “I guess I just needed time.”
“Then, what, dude? I’m confused. You’ve been in my business hardcore lately and I’m curious as shit.”
I sighed deeply. “It’s nothing, man, really. I’m at a crossroads in my life, I guess. I’ve got this, though.” I grinned. “Come on,” I said, wrapping my arm around his neck and nudging his head. “Let’s go get shit-faced.”
“Cool.”
The reason I’d been harassing Jason, it seemed, though I wasn’t aware of it until he’d enlightened me, was because I was fishing for information about January. There, I said it. I wanted to know more about this girl, the girl who infected my thoughts with the insane kiss she also polluted my dreams with. I convinced myself that she wasn’t as beautiful as I imagined her to be, that she wasn’t as sexy as I conjured her up to be. I knew then that I’d have to visit the label, and soon, to see for myself. Remind myself that she didn’t affect me as much I thought she did, that I dreamed her up to help me get over Kelly. I was grateful for that little fact but needed to free all ties to her . I was ready to move on.
Then I remembered she’d probably be at The Belle Jar’s Platinum Party the following night. In the car ride to Charlie’s, I sat quietly staring out the window. It felt so good to be home again, but it wasn’t too long before I began to wonder what she’d wear to this party, if she’d wear her long dark brown hair up or down, if her ears were pierced or not, whether she was still dating the mail guy. Get a grip, Thomas! I ran a hand down the front of my face before turning my attention to the car conversation.
I thought my distracted mind escaped the notice of all but when I caught Cherry’s gaze, I knew she saw right through me. She narrowed her eyes at me.
“Callum, baby, switch places with me,” she said.
Callum kissed his wife deeply, making me think about January again, before moving to shotgun.
“Spill, Tommy. What’s up with you? Aren’t you happy to be home?” she asked. She was the only one allowed to call me Tommy. I didn’t feel like I was ten years old the way Cherry said it.
“Of course, Cherry Bomb. I will never be able to be away from you guys for that long again,” I said honestly, hugging her close.
“Then why the long face, kemo sabe?”
Quick, think of something. “It feels bittersweet,” I said. Not a total lie. “I’m leaving for Europe in just a few weeks.”
“Oh, Tom, you’ll only be gone for the same. It’s okay,” she said, snuggling closely into my side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and squeezed, happy to be near my friends again.
That night we all got sloshed on wine and good food. The group sat around telling stories of the shenanigans I’d missed since my last visit and I almost died laughing hearing them.
“This is a refreshing side,” Jason said to me as we both settled into chairs on Charlie’s patio.
“What do you mean?” I asked, my bottle resting on my knee.
“When you’re with these people,” he said, gesturing through the window, “you’re a different person, Tom.”
“I’m not,” I said, but even I knew that was a lie.
“Sure,” he answered. “So, I invited January tonight.”
“What?” I said, sitting up a bit, looking over my shoulder.
Jason smiled widely. “No, but I think I just figured out why you’ve been so effing crazy lately.”
I shook my head denying it before he’d even spoken another word.
He ignored me. “She’ll be at the party tomorrow, you know that?”
“I figured she’d be,” I said, trying to sound absent. I avoided eye contact. “She’s good friends with Casey Donigan.”
“Yeah, she is, but she’s also kind of responsible for the party arrangements. She practically did all the prep for it. She’s a cool chick.”
“That’s cool,” I said, trying to be that very word, but the curiosity was killing me. “So, uh,” I said taking a swig of beer, “is she still seeing that dude from the mailroom?” Smooth.
“No, actually, she’s free as a bird,” he said, borrowing a line from her the night I’d made a fool of myself.
“Oh, cool.”
“God, you idiot. Shall I just set a date at the church then because you’re clearly infatuated with her. Just bite the bullet, Tom. Damn, never thought I’d have to say that to you of all people.”
“Shut it, Jason.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, lifting up his six pack and heading for the window.
“Finally,” I said under my breath.
Jason was right. I was clearly infatuated with her, but that was all. We shared an amazing kiss that nearly flayed the skin from my bones from the sheer razor-sharpness of it, but that was it. I was attracted to her but didn’t want to get to know her. Besides, say, for hypothetical sake, I even wanted to get to know her, I was headed to Europe soon. I didn’t have time to get to know her.
Saturday night was The Belle Jar’s platinum party. That morning, I woke on Charlie’s patio on one of his ridiculous chairs, my back aching like no other. I peeled myself through the window and stood straight in their dining room, stretching my body to rid myself of the kinks.
“Tom?” I heard from the kitchen.
“Yeah, Cherry. It’s me.”
“Where the heck did you come from?” she asked , laughing and rounded the counter.
“You left me out there all night. Some friend you are,” I teased.
“Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t have fallen asleep out there, goofus.”
“I’m out of here,” I said, yawning.
“What? Why? Stay for breakfast!”
“Nuh uh. I’ve got to get ready for this party tonight. You guys are coming, right?”
“Now, that was a dumb question,” she teased. “When have any of us denied the chance to dance and party, my friend?”
“I suppose that was dumb,” I said, straightening a stack of papers on her bar top. “See you,” I said, kissing her cheek and heading out the door.
My apartment was a few blocks down from Charlie and Cherry’s. I’d lived in Austin for a year, yeah, but the label still paid my rent here, and I had a roommate who didn’t mind getting the apartment all to himself. I’d dropped my bags there earlier when he wasn’t home but could hear him in the kitchen when I walked in.
“Tom?” I heard from around the foyer hall.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Good,” my roommate Matt said, meeting me halfway. He gave me a slap hug. “Thought I’d have to bring out the big guns,” he joked.
“You got a gun?” I asked.
“No - I...never mind. Come in, a**hole. Haven’t heard from you in a couple of weeks. What’s new, man?”
“Oh, nothing. Got a sweet deal from the label a few days ago. Going to Europe to scout.”
“Damn,” he said, his cereal-laden spoon stopped halfway to his mouth. “That’s cool.”
“Yup,” I said, heading toward the room I hadn’t seen in a while.
“I had Sal clean in there. That cool?”
“Of course,” I said, before closing the door behind me.
My room was in perfect order and exactly as I’d left it. I brushed my teeth in my attached bathroom, threw on my workout clothes and headed out into the New York streets to run a few miles. Working out in New York was definitely different than working out in Austin. The air was very different and I was finding it hard to adjust. I went five miles before turning around and heading back home, unable to go further. In Austin, I’d run six before turning back. It probably didn’t help that I drank so much the night before. I’d come to be a lightweight. I only drank socially and usually had only one or two beers but that night I’d gone a little overboard.
At home, I showered and tucked a towel around my waist before heading for my suitcases and dragging out a pair of boxers. I unpacked, putting everything up so I could see what I could scrounge up that was decent enough for the party. I was spoiled in Austin. It was such a laid-back city, there was no dress code for things like this.
I couldn’t find anything, then decided I didn’t care. I threw on a pair of jeans and belt, stuck my wallet in my back pocket, making sure the chain didn’t hang weird, then picked a black t-shirt and hoodie and threw my green military jacket over that. I cleaned my boots up a bit and threw those on as well. Since I’d woken so late at Cherry and Charlie’s, and unpacking had taken forever, I’d lost track of time. When I looked at my watch, I was actually fifteen minutes late.
“Shit! Nine-fifteen?” I asked no one.
I rushed out the door, not because I was in a hurry to see what January looked like after all these months or to see what she thought of me. No, I was excited to meet my friends. Yeah, that’s it. I hailed a cab but when the cabbie asked where to, I couldn’t tell him. I’d forgotten to ask Jason. I’d flipped my cell open and rang him.