Home > Searching for Always (Searching For #4)(2)

Searching for Always (Searching For #4)(2)
Author: Jennifer Probst

Things happened in slow motion. Stone had been through enough shit to know he needed to keep calm, get the medics, handle the situation, protect the unprotected. His training usually kicked in with no pause.

Instead, he was ripped to another time and place, and the haze of red swarmed his vision and his logic.

Stone grabbed the man in one fast motion. He got an impression of surprised bloodshot eyes, fingers clawing and trying to pry him off, and shrieks peppering the air.

He hit. And hit. And hit.

The man slumped to the ground, but Stone didn’t stop. He punched with all his might, all his emotion and locked-up rage that came through to punish a monster who hurt defenseless women and liked it.

He didn’t know how much time had passed before he was dragged off the guy. Ambulance alarms sounded in the air, and Devine was shaking him by the shoulders, saying his name over and over, trying to get him to focus and get back to the light. Medics rushed in, cries rang out, and when Stone Petty came to, he realized it was too late.

The damage had already been done.

Yeah. All in all, it was a shit day.

One

ARILYN MEADOWS LOOKED around the cheery bungalow that was now her new home. Boxes lay half-opened, clothes were stacked in piles, and her foster dogs, Lenny and Mike, were battling over her only pair of expensive shoes. Scarlet red. High heels. Strappy. She’d bought them last month to surprise her lover.

He’d been surprised all right. So had she when she caught him banging one of his yoga students.

The black-and-white rat terrier mixes tumbled over the floor in a challenge to see who’d make the first bite. With their floppy ears and white stripes dividing their faces, her new fosters were a bit too cute to live. They also got away with way too much because of their looks. She opened her mouth to discipline, then shut it. Yes, it was bad for the puppies’ training, but it felt kind of good to see them tear those heels apart. She’d never wear them again without that memory clocking her like a sucker punch. At least Lenny and Mike could have some rebellious fun.

The low hum of anger buzzing inside surprised her. She’d spent most of her days searching for peace, kindness, and harmony within the world. Last week, she would’ve announced to anyone she’d found that quiet place inside and had never been happier.

Not this week.

Arilyn held back a sigh and began hanging her clothes up. Organic cottons and linens wrinkled too easily, especially with no dryer. She smoothed her hand down the soft fabrics and lined them up neatly in the closet. At least her new place was sound. After discovering mold at her last rental, and weeks of dealing with bad electric and burst pipes, her friend Genevieve MacKenzie offered to let her rent the quirky bungalow. Thank goodness, Gen had found the love of her life and was now moving in with her soul mate, Wolfe. Even better, she had left an empty cottage to rent. It was situated close to her job, and two doors down from her other friend Kate, who she worked with at Kinnections matchmaking agency.

She tried to concentrate on the positive spin of finding a great place, especially one that allowed her to take in foster dogs on a regular basis, but her usual attitude had taken a hit. Besides anger, depression threatened like a nasty rumble of thunder before a storm. Dammit, she was supposed to be in Cape May on a romantic getaway. She was supposed to be making love and finally working through the kinks in their relationship. She was supposed to hear those magic words after five years of an on-again, off-again affair.

You’re the one.

Marriage. Maybe a family. Both of them teaching yoga together in his studio, on a quest for higher peace and satisfaction while they loved each other with open hearts and souls.

Her fingers clenched around the gauzy cream blouse. Instead, she’d walked into that studio and watched her life crumble before her.

The woman bent over, hands on the floor, naked ass in the air. Her lover pounded her from behind, his long gorgeous dark hair streaming down his back, fingers gripped around her hips, driving in and out of her while she moaned and groaned, and he gave tiny grunts of satisfaction.

The woman screamed. He laughed darkly, lifted his hand, and smacked her naked ass. She yelped. Then he did it again, and again, until her rear turned red and she was coming and screaming . . .

Arilyn turned from the closet and pushed her clenched fists against her eyes. The image burned like acid.

He’d never made love to her that way, with a violent, dirty need combined with lust. He practiced tantric sex, a slow-moving, spiritual, gentle swell of need that climbed gradually. Their lovemaking took place in many locations, but it was always completely controlled, quiet, deeply satisfying. He worshipped her body with his. Never bent it to his will or ripped crazy orgasms from her.

She’d never forget his face. So deeply satisfied, like he was surrendering in a way he never could with her. Was this what he’d wanted the whole time? Had he believed she couldn’t handle his sexual desires? The almost violent, possessive, hungry primal instincts inside him?

Fighting a shudder, she began to unpack her crystals and meditation supplies. How long had she made excuses for his inability to truly commit to her? Yes, he revered his privacy and followed a spiritual path without conventions, societal role plays, and sexual expectations. That was what she’d loved about him. They viewed the world similarly and wanted to make a difference. He was a workaholic, but in a good way. Always driven to help others in their journey. Another reason he was afraid to commit to a long-term relationship. He feared she’d become demanding and force him to quit his beloved career.

But after years of being hidden in the background, while he refused to meet her friends or family, and conducted their affair after hours and in secret like a torrid affair, she’d finally given him the ultimatum. The idea that no one ever uttered his first name faded from being a thrilling secret to a quiet humiliation.

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