My gaze fell, unable to look any longer. I gasped. Everywhere, my skin was purple with faint bruises and pink with abrasions from the flogger. I twisted, hissing between my teeth to look at my back. Lashes crossed in a lattice pattern, flaming with soreness. He hadn’t broken the skin, but damn, it hurt.
Slinging his buttonless shirt on, Q spun around. He passed me a fur blanket from the bed. “You’ll have to wear this to your room, seeing as I burned your clothes.”
I glared. “Are you deliberately ignoring my question?”
He shut down. Eyes hazy with a hangover, jaw clenched. I couldn't understand his aloofness. His coldness.
The knock came again, interrupting the building tension.
Q sighed, withdrawing even further. “I have to go.”
I stood proudly, not covering myself in the blanket. I wanted him to see what he did to me. How I wore the marks with passion. They showed everything I’d become. I was no longer virgin snow. I was claimed. Used. “You’re going to leave in the middle of a discussion?”
His eyes fell to my ruined body, heat and distress flickering over his face. “Don’t confuse what happened last night. It was f**king between a drunk master and his slave. You gave me what I wanted. But it’s morning, and other things demand my attention.”
He couldn’t have hurt me more if he tried. My eyes narrowed, stinging with tears. “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
He shrugged. “Believe what you want to believe, esclave. I’m leaving.”
My heart shut down. Esclave. Not Tess. He disowned me so simply.
Before I could ask what the hell was going on, he unlocked the door and disappeared.
* * * * *
I took the walk of shame down the circular stairs and into my bedroom. I showered and rubbed arnica into my bruises, before slipping on a beautiful grey dress I found hanging in the wardrobe.
I no longer had aversions to Q dressing me. After what he did last night, a simple wardrobe preference seemed trivial. I let him flay me open in every sense, but instead of feeling treasured and complete, I felt empty and regretful. He did things I never thought I could agree to, yet I never used the safe word. Because I felt safe with him.
But that was another lie. He ruined that safety when he left with no explanation. My jaw ached from clenching so hard. Q had no right to shut down and leave. He has every right. He’s your master.
He’s more than that—even if he denies it until he passes out.
I brushed my hair with fierce strokes. Maybe I deluded myself into believing he felt more than he did. He admitted to having fifty-seven women before…what did little ole me matter?
His drunk rambling echoed in my mind. Winter. Birds. Thawing.
I dropped the brush.
Holy fuck. Could it be true? Q bought women, not to abuse them, but to save them?
My mind couldn’t comprehend it. Not after the music of demons inside, not after everything he did to me. But my heart fluttered with hope.
Needing to learn the truth, I bolted from the room.
I found Suzette in the kitchen slicing carrots; she barely acknowledged me. Dark clouds rolled over the spring sunshine, casting shadows.
Mrs. Sucre gave me a half-hearted smile before disappearing into the pantry. My skin pricked with unwelcome. I was a traitor, an outcast.
I moved forward, pressing against the countertop, not entering the massive kitchen. I wasn’t brave enough to encroach on Suzette’s domain while she glared machetes at me.
Unbearable silence thickened; the house had a weird vibe. Tense, static, as if a storm brewed within.
Whiplashes twinged as I hunched. I had no right to feel ignored. What happened with the police was my fault.
“Suzette… what happened last night? Why didn’t the police arrest Q?” I started with an easy question. I needed to break the ice before confirming my suspicions. It made sense though—Suzette told me all along Q rescued her, but I’d been too pig-headed to listen.
She pursed her lips, eyes narrowed. “What do you think happened? The police came and accused Q of kidnapping you.”
“But they left. They must’ve found Q innocent, if they didn’t press charges.”
Suzette scoffed. “So much you don’t know, esclave. Things you’ve lost the right to learn.”
My stomach twisted. I didn’t realize how much I valued Suzette’s friendship. “I didn’t call the police. I called my boyfriend and told him about Q, but… that’s all.”
She stopped chopping. “And you think that makes it okay?” She closed her eyes, visibly forcing away her black mood. When she reopened, her hazel eyes sparkled, but no longer furious. “I know you were terrified when you first arrived. I know you suffered in Mexico. I know you missed your boyfriend—I can’t hate you for being a fighter, for running, for being brave. I just wish you’d given us more time before judging and making a bad decision.” She picked up the knife and resumed slicing.
Chills darted down my back. She spoke in past tense…
Mrs. Sucre opened an oven, and heavenly scents of cinnamon and sugar wafted as she removed perfectly cooked sweet buns. She placed them in front of me, waving a tea-towel, causing little wisps of steam to curl.
I tried to ignore racing heartbeats. I hated this feeling. This eerie sense of loss. “Mrs. Sucre. Have you seen Master Mercer? I need to speak with him.”
Suzette stiffened but didn’t look up.
She shook her head. “No. He left half an hour or so ago. I doubt he’ll be home for a while.”
Sadness rushed; I gripped the countertop. He left without a goodbye. What did you expect? Just because you let him whip you last night, you thought things would be different?
It shouldn’t hurt so much… it was to be expected. It was a week-day and he had an empire to run. But he didn’t just leave this morning. He ran. Something wasn’t right. “Oh,” was all I managed.
Mrs. Sucre gave me a compassionate look, sharp brown eyes assessing. With a soft smile, she passed me a warm bun. “Best eat, child. Never know when you’ll eat again.”
I locked eyes with her, shivers darting down my back. “Why won’t I know?” Instincts roared to life and I ran around the countertop to grab her wrist. “What do you mean?”
Suzette watched with wide eyes, anger changing to sadness. She opened her mouth to speak, but a masculine baritone came from behind me.
“She means your stay with us has come to an end, esclave.”
No.
Letting Mrs. Sucre go, I spun to face Franco. He stood, crisp and sharp, black shades on his head, the same folder Q first showed me when I arrived from Mexico in his hands. The file the kidnappers created. The file referring to me only as Blonde Girl on Scooter.
My heart convulsed. Q knew what he was doing the entire time. I was unbelievably stupid not to see it. Asking for one night to do what he wished. One night, because that’s all he needed. Then he kicked me out. The user. The bastard.
Franco came closer; I scuttled back, bumping into the warm, soft body of Mrs. Sucre. By throwing me out, Q tore me from people who cared more than my parents. The maternal comfort of Mrs. Sucre, the strange sisterhood with Suzette. Even my weird connection to Franco.
It was all over.
Franco smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He stopped in front of me. Mrs. Sucre placed hands on my shoulders, offering support as Franco ducked to one knee and sliced through the GPS tracker. It fell off my ankle, clattering to the tiles.
The symbolism that Q no longer cared slapped like a bitch. He’d removed his protection, his strange affection. He was throwing me back to a world full of Brutes and Drivers.
“That’s it then? I have no say?” I fissured, hurting beyond comprehension. Q was too spineless to do this himself. He ordered his staff to remove me like an unwanted pet. I laughed morbidly. “I’m to be put down like some rabid poodle.” It might be best if I was shot. How would I cope with everything?
Franco chuckled. “Hardly, esclave. You’re going home.”
Home. The word didn’t conjure happiness and belonging anymore. It was foreign and bleak.
Q cast me back to a world I never wanted to return to. Tossing me out like the unwanted Christmas present.
Mrs. Sucre squeezed my shoulders, before dropping her hands and pushing me toward Franco. “Go, now. Put this all behind you.”
I dashed to Suzette, capturing her hands. Eyes flashed to mine; her pity made my heart bleed. “I don’t want to go, Suzette. Running away was a huge mistake. You’ll explain to Q and let me stay, won’t you? You keep saying I’m good for him. That he’s a better man than I know. I want to be worthy, Suzette. I want to stay and hear his story.”
She unlatched my fingers, stepping back. “I know, Tess, but it’s too late. Q brokered a deal with the police. No charges will be brought against him if he sends you home. This is the only way.”
My heart ached so much it hurt to breathe. That was how he got the police to stay away. Giving me up to save his own ass.
“No! I can’t go. I want to stay. I need to stay.”
Franco appeared, gathering me in strong, prison-like arms. “Come along. We’re on a deadline.” And just like that, he carted me from the kitchen, away from Suzette, away from my new life.
As we walked through the lounge, I briefly contemplated hitting him and running. I could lock myself in the bedroom, and wait for Q to tell me himself he didn’t want me. But Franco was too strong. It would be pointless.
Franco marched me out the door, chuckling wryly. “Funny, how this began with me pushing you through the door to bow to your new master.” He laughed again before adding, “Never had to kick a slave out before.”
The lash marks Q gave me last night stood out in stark relief as my skin whitened in panic, reality hitting home. There was no stopping this. “I hated you that day and I hate you now.”
He nodded. “I understand, but I’m only following orders.”
In the same manicured field, with its windsock and landing lights, rested Q’s private plane with his initials. Wind whipped my hair into a snarl; black clouds above built with rain.
Seeing a chance, I said, “Should we really fly in such weather? It’s not safe.” I dug my heels in, trying to get free from Franco’s grasp. “Please, Franco. I want to stay. Call Q. Let me speak to him.”
He shook his head, propelling me toward the plane as if I wasn’t fighting at all. “Q doesn’t want to see you again, esclave. I’m sorry to say, but you’ve caused enough problems in his life.” His words stung but his tone was kind, sad.
I hung my head, giving in. Why fight? I couldn’t change my fate.
Franco helped me up the flight of steps and into the immaculate jet. Cream leather and honey wood was a prison. I slouched in the same chair as when I first flew. The same horror and grief from that night filled my lungs. I’m crazy. I’m going home! I should be excited.
The reoccurring theme in my life happened again. My parents didn’t want me. Brax didn’t fight to keep me. And Q… Q stole everything and then tossed me back into the shark invested waters of the world.