“She’s the most amazing little girl. Smart, funny, and sweet. Resilient as hell. You’d never know by seeing her now that she’d ever been through such hard times.” He cut his gaze over to mine. “I can’t wait for you to meet her.”
His words sent a surge of warmth through my chest. I couldn’t help feeling grateful he wanted me to meet the niece he adored. Suddenly it felt like we were as connected as we had been during most of this trip, and the discomfort I’d felt when he confronted the guy back at the carnival disappeared. Now our bond seemed even stronger.
“I can’t wait to meet her, either.” I motioned to the alligator. “And to see her reaction to her present.”
“It’s not much, but I know she would be pissed if I was gone and didn’t bring her back anything.”
“She’ll adore it.”
Rev stared down at the alligator. “I just hope I have a kid like her one day.”
I sucked in a harsh breath—hearing him state his desire to have children felt the same as if someone had punched me in the gut. In truth, it was more like someone drove a dagger into my chest. I had once spoken with the same conviction about children as Rev had. I guess it wasn’t too surprising he wanted a family—the vast majority of people did. It was more about the way he had said the words, the desire that resonated in his tone. There was not a doubt in my mind that he would make a wonderful father.
While I could hear Breakneck’s words that it wasn’t impossible for me to be a mother, it did little to make me feel better.
Thankfully, we arrived at the car then, and if Rev realized how his words had stung me, he didn’t let on. I was glad he hadn’t. I’d always hated having someone’s pity, especially Rev’s.
After Rev started the engine, the physical and emotional exertions of the day caught up with me, and I nodded off. I awoke to Rev pulling me to him. “Come on, Annabel.” Before I could protest to give me a few minutes to wake up so I could walk, he was lifting me into his arms.
Panic overcame me when I felt myself floating. My eyelids snapped open, and I furiously took in my surroundings. My chest rose and fell in painful, panicked breaths. It took everything within me not to scream as a flashback overcame me.
Sensing my distress, Rev began murmuring softly to me. “It’s okay. It’s just you and me. No ghosts of the past allowed.”
Tears stung my eyes at the kindness of his words and the fact that he was carrying me into the motel room so that I didn’t have to exert myself. I curled my fist tighter into his shirt. Somehow his strength was enough to ward off the flashbacks. I wasn’t back at the motel with the Diablos. Instead, it was Rev, and only Rev, with me.
After he kicked the door closed, Rev asked, “Do you want to change?”
Since I could barely keep my eyes open, I replied, “Just sleep.”
“Okay.” He eased me down onto one of the beds and pulled the cover from the other side over to wrap me up. “Sweet dreams, Annabel.”
“Same to you,” I murmured before sleep once again overtook me.
Naked after his last attack, I lay on my side with him pressed against me. As his fingers skimmed over my back, I prayed that even though it was early in the evening, he would fall asleep.
He had been gone most of the day. Business meetings of some sort. He had returned, finely dressed in one of his thousand-dollar suits and reeking of alcohol.
“Go put on my dress shirt,” he commanded.
Since I always did just as he asked, I slipped out of bed and padded silently across the cool marble floor as I went over to the chair where he had tossed his shirt. Quickly, I slid it on and buttoned it up. Because of his height, it reached my knees.
With a flick of his wrist, he beckoned me to him. “Come here.”
I drew in a breath of trepidation, but immediately went back over to the bed.
Mendoza stared up at me, drinking in my appearance from head to toe. “Mmm, you look sexy in my clothes.” He shoved his hands into my hair and jerked my head closer to his. Within seconds, his lips were moving frantically against mine.
In another time and place, far from here, I might have considered his dark, chiseled features handsome. But because of the monster I knew him to be, I never looked at him without thinly veiled repulsion. His ego was so enlarged that he expected me to enjoy his rapes. At first, I had wept inconsolably during each attack, and in return I got beaten. I had learned very quickly to use my imagination. Instead of Mendoza, I pretended it was Brad Pitt or Henry Cavill in the bed with me—anything to endure it.
He pulled me down onto the bed beside him. After rolling on top of me, he shoved up the dress shirt. “Roja,” he murmured against my lips.
I disconnected the moment he slammed into me. Instead of Mendoza’s black, soulless eyes looming over me, it was the gentle, caring eyes of Dr. Josh Jenkins. What I imagined with him wasn’t even sexual. It was more about the kindness he had shown me, the dimples that appeared when he smiled, his tender bedside manner with his four-legged patients.
Because I missed him, the animals at the clinic, and most of all my former life, I found myself murmuring, “Oh, Josh.”
Mendoza’s pounding in and out of me immediately ceased. When I finally dared to open my eyes, his menacing gaze made me shudder, even though I knew better than to show any reaction to him. “What did you say, bitch?”
“Nothing,” I whispered as I shrank away from him.
His fingers came to curl around my neck. “I’ll kill you for letting another man’s name come off your lips.”